How will I be Judged?

The time of judgement is upon me. Tonight at midnight my pseudo-life (my blog) will be judged. Have I been just, have I been thorough, have I been honest and kind?

I beleive so. But if I be judged on the needful thing then perhaps I may be judged harshly. I did not finish The Bible. I only made it into the book of Numbers specifically Numbers 2. What I will say is up to that point I was reading thoroughly word for word, and when I found myself staring I stopped. Yes, numbers is where I lost my resolve. I dabbled in the other books Ruth, Luke, and Paul. Revelation I read through and through, climactic, exciting, viseral. Upon reflection I realize that I was destracted by other classes, my AA meetings, my lover, and my stomach. I cannot blame television because I don't have cable, and Netflix has hardly been needful. To be honest, in some sense I am disappointed in myself. I knew and know that I am capable of such a task, but I did not hold myself to it. However I plan on continuing my Bible reading. I plan to finish it over the break, before spring semester consumes my life.

Bottom line, I feel good. I feel I learned something about myself and about the world in opening the pages to The Bible. I was ignorant that is for sure, and an ignoramous I may still be if only a little less. I find it needless to blog endlessly now to make up for my sloth. I feel it would be like finding god during the Rapture (well no shit). This has been an apocolytic class.

In the words of Edward R. Murrow, "Good night, and good Luck."

Term Paper: Online

The Slave: the internal, external & digression

            The Slave. The slave is not just a man bound by chains, or that is driven by the point of the sword or the barrel of the gun. The slave can be bound by that which exerts no physical force or physical pain. The Slave can be bound and driven by an internal struggle. The slave in that case is bound by faith and belief, driven by principle. Thus is created two types of slaves the slave to the external and the slave to the internal. The external slave driven by the point of the sword or the end of the barrel, bound by chains or the like can define their pain.  This slave can see the source of his/her trials and tribulations. The slave of belief has a more difficult time defining the source. The slave of the self has none to blame, no finger to point, and if he/she were to place the blame upon their own faith and belief it would almost contradict their very existence.  Yet, that slave must at some point acknowledge being a slave to ones self. With no extrinsic force at work, the only option is to look on the inside. In most cases the two versions of the slave are not mutually exclusive, but a hybrid of the two trapped within in the same mortal coil.  

            Great pain and suffering in endured by one with great conviction, and with great conviction also comes great pain and suffering. Strong convictions can create a rigidity of the soul by acting in accordance to a certain faith and belief. Thus in the ebb and flow of societal change the slave is bent and broken over those convictions. Faith in effect acts as a metaphorical rack for the soul, and the slave endures and endures, because on the other side when the vessel is no more and the pain is gone paradise awaits with promises of eternal life. “The true palace lies beyond. Don’t let yourself be barred from it for the sake of a moment’s pleasure.”(Singer 21)Like the child whom told by the father to wait to indulge, to suffer in patient obedience for the treat in the end. The rack of the soul and the source of the pain is manifested from the conflict between the principle and the internal slave’s baser human nature. This internal conflict eats at the slave from the inside out. The soul wants to indulge, and to live.

            The form of the slave is manifested in Isaac Beshevis Singer’s novel The Slave.  The protagonist Jacob is both afflicted by the literal external form of slavery as well as the slavery of the soul, “making him a man at war with himself.” (Singer 36) However the more tragic is Wanda a slave to love the deadliest tyrant of all. Like Socrates had said in Plato’s Phaedrus, love “overpowers a person’s reasoning …this desire, all conquering in its forceful drive, takes its name from the word for force and is called Eros.” (Plato 18) Love. The novel stands as a testament to this dualism of the body and soul and how each is a slave in its own right.

            The typical extrinsic form of slavery exhibits force. One person being quite literally in control of the other etc… That is the quick and dirty of slavery. In fact an even quicker and dirtier way would be looking online for a definition of the word slave. On the other hand there are more implicit aspects of the internal slave, those that cannot be seen. This individual is a slave in the non traditional sense where the forces of enslavement are exerted internally.

            What is more difficult to decipher in Jacob’s case is whether or not he is a slave to God or a slave to religion. He does say at one point, “we are all slaves…God’s slaves.” (Singer 90) It could be argued that because Jacob is bound by orthodox practices of his religion that he is in fact a slave to his religion and not to his God. The religion being the entity that mandates all of the rules and regulations that Jacob must abide by. These guidelines are prescribed as a source of piety in the hopes that it will make him pious and essentially secure for himself a place in heaven after his life of suffering. However, it could also be said that even though he acts as a slave to his belief system, his faith in God acts as his captor. In this case faith serves as Jacob’s connection to God, his God consciousness. But take notice that in the novel Jacob seldom asks Rabbis or fellow Jews for guidance. There is the occasion in which Jacob encounters the Jewish emissary (Rabbi) but there isn’t so much a plea for direction but an attempt to remember what it means to be Jewish. As a side effect he gets a spine when the emissary remarks, “all is foreseen but the choice is given.” (Singer 266) No more asking, pleading, guessing or waiting.

             Despite this instance Jacob more often than not directs his prayers and actions toward direct connection with God. He prays to God, and acts with the assumption that God is watching him and is privy to his inner thoughts. He remarks, “I’m damned already,” (Singer 35) just after the thought of ravishing that sweet gentile Wanda. Throughout the novel it appears that two different entities are involved with the slavery of his soul, religion and God. His religion tells him what to do, what to wear, what to read, what to eat etc…In that sense it would appear that he is a slave to religion and not to God. Jacob does these things invariably because he assumes God is watching but God does nothing says nothing, like a contentious objector. At various moments Jacob does rely on God and not on his religion, in what to seem to be moments of clarity. However they are short lived because he resorts back to what he ‘should’ do, as per the prayers and practices of his religion. In effect this makes him a slave to religious practices and ideology because he believes this, the way to be pious.

            Yet Jacob breaks many of the laws of his religion making him a heretic of sorts, and he still returns. If his God, the God of the Jews is watching Jacob then no doubt he would be very displeased. God would be in the know. Now if God knows that Jacob is breaking the holy laws, and Jacob knows that God knows, then why return and why try so hard to pull of the charade of piety through religion. This is because Jacob is not a slave to God but to his religion. Jacob’s beliefs and faith have everything to do with his religion. Why continue if God knows? Because Jacob doesn’t care about God, he cares about being accepted in society. He is scared to start new, scared to change. He spent so much of is life as a Jew how is he going to start over? So he ignores what God knows and continues to ‘play’ orthodox Jew with his lying gentile wife who is carrying his bastard child. Also quite interesting is Jacob’s affinity for his religion despite all of his quarrels and troubles with those of his same denomination, “the robbed”…who…”had become robbers.” (Singer 270) At the end of the day, the question becomes who is Jacob trying to fool? The answer is himself.

            Then there is Wanda a poor peasant girl that became a slave of love. This is slavery. One only needs a minimal knowledge of poetry and writing regarding love to come to realize the power that love exerts on the love struck individual. “This is the monstrosity in love, lady, that the will is infinite and the execution confined; that the desire is boundless, and the act a slave to limit.” (Shakespeare) Wanda’s actions speak volumes to this proposal. In her case she transformed. She learned the ways of a religion she did not believe, she shaved her head, she changed her name, and she played deaf and dumb. She may have been wanting, but only driven under the lash of love. In the end her husband left her side (not physically) but in his support and protection, he did not stand by her. She died alone. On top of all this buried in an unmarked grave outside the cemetery walls like swine. This was not a willing course of action Wanda was a slave. Slave to love. Slavery in The Slave came in many forms. Humans are slave to themselves and slaves to each other. Slaves to the sword as much as slaves to love itself.

Frye Presentations: Mountain One

Looking back on the film that we presented to the class I am hard pressed to find anyone definite meaning. The conglomeration of our own ideas of the Frye as manifested in our short piece are really representative of the complexity and multilateral meaning that Frye can exude in people. For instance some of the skits in the film had no planning. Meaning that someone would bring up a concept from Frye and we would just run with it. I think the biggest hurtle for the group was overcoming Frye's complex ideas, because of the complexity it lent to an almost nonsensical feeling within the group. We were all over the place. Certain people held one interpretation while others in the group held exactly the opposite. This was difficult considering we had to come up with a sort of group consensus of meaning. The film I think did do a great job of being a representation of our confusion and alternative views. The medium of film allowed us to place somewhat individual perspectives in one a continuous act.

In terms of take aways I think it is hard to say. I would say that the overall idea of the mountain applies to this idea of ascension, both literally and spiritually. Like in the instance where we hiked up the 'M' that would have been representative of literal ascension. The change in altitude bringing us that much closer to God in the most literal sense with a physical change in location on the vertices's of the 'Axis Mundi' On the flip side the mountain as a metaphor alludes to a kind of spiritual ascension that brings about a change in spiritual perspective. Part of that ascension is to rise above the distractions and the literal. That is more or less why we included the interludes of absurd images in reference to distractions. By ascending spiritually we remove the distractions essentially clearing the way for a more in depth and non literal perspective of the Bible.

What I feel is key is that in both instances the person (reader, religious follower, literary theorist) must be an active participant in the act of ascending. In the case of hiking the mountain that is the literal an physical participation in ascension. While the spiritual ascension takes place within the mind, essentially putting the metaphorical mountain with in the mind. You could sit in one spot reading and still take part in the ascension of the mountain. Some would call this faith or spirituality. I don't really feel that either is more correct but both certainly offer different things. You gain a certain connection through the physical ascent and certain things through a metaphorical ascent. For example the Buddhist monk transcends the physical mentally through meditation and prayer, right? He moves without moving. The end result being a spiritual connection and alteration of their perspective. On the other hand you have astronauts who have walked on the moon. I recently watched a documentary "In the Shadow of the Moon" which documents the accounts of the surviving astronauts that stood on the face of the moon. Watch it and you will see that these men through physical act of ascension had a epephatic experiences that changed them forever. They talk about being on the moon like as if they had stood on the mountain top with God himself. So, whether physical or spiritually the ascension is key in human perspective.

Whether that came off in our presentation is another question.

Northrop Frye and the Axis Mundi

There is no doubt in my mind that Northrop Frye is a vast resource when it comes scholarly work on The Bible. However some times I feel that I am reading above and beyond my level of comprehension. For example Frye takes the notion of intertexualtiy to the next level with his seemingly endless conections of The Bible and other texts. Regardless of complexity he is quite interesting, definatley not lacking in the arena of literary intellect.

One thing I found inter woven in the text is the Axis Mundi. Not only in the beginning of the book in the introduction and the first chapter but later on in Frye's chapter "First Variation: The Mountain." To be honest I knew about the Axis Mundi in a sort of innate way prior to reading Frye, and only after reading portions of Frye did I have a name for the "Axis Mundi." Interestingly enough looking into the Axis Mundi I found that the Axis Mundi is sometimes considered to be, "a natural and universal psychological perception." Perhaps that explains this feeling of knowing the Axis Mundi before I "Knew of" the Axis Mundi. However I wonder if the conception of the Axis Mundi is so fundamental in the understanding of the self in relation to the world as portrayed in underlying ways by literature that we are never given an opportunity to conceive of any other form of relational existence. Regardless of the scientific evidence and the presence of the actual the Axis Mundi seems to be some what of a rational human manifestation.

This idea of the Axis Mundi also prompted me to open a book from my "personal archive" entitled You Are Here: Personal Geographies and Other Maps of the Imagination by Katherine Harmon. The book touches on notions of personal geographies as a transcendence of the physical into the realm of the imagination, and the innate ability for humans to create within the mind; nations and borders without a prior knowledge of the like. Like the coded nature of words in Frye there is a coded visual language of the map. I feel this is interesting because the notions of the Axis Mundi proposed in Frye in relation to the literary is then manifest in visual form in the mind. What I really find interesting as I observed my mental image of Frye's Axis Mundi and other theoretical maps is that humanity lay in the center of things. We have this notion in of Ascension and Descension with God on top in what most would view as the position of power. While this may be true people have continued to place humanity in the middle, or the center of things. Now the top may be the power position, but being in the center of things has all sorts of implications of power and importance.

This is little excerpt from Leonardo Da Vinci:

"Man is called by the ancients a world in miniature and certainly this name is well applied, for just as man is composed of earth, water, air and fire, so is the body of the earth. If man has in him bones which are the support and armor of the flesh, the world has rocks which are the support of the earth; if man has in himself the sea of blood, in which the lungs rise and fall in breathing, so the body of the earth has its oceanic sea which also rises and falls every six hours for the world to breathe. If from the said sea of blood spring veins which go on ramifying through out the human body, similarly the oceanic sea fills the body of the earth with infinite veins of water."


Yggdrasil from Norse Mythology (not "actual" axis mundi)

Lacking Direction

I feel that I am walking in the shadow of death and I am fearing evil. I really was hoping to be inspired by The Bible. You hear people all the time I was down and out and I found God so on and so forth. Well, for some reason I always felt that The Bible would carry a little bit of that in it. That in some way The Bible carried some codified message that upon reading would open your eyes make life clear and bring, I guess I thought The Bible would be Epiphatic in nature. Thus far I have found Sunday funnies more Epiphatic than The Bible. I must admit that I am only in the book of Numbers. That said I should probably hold off on any lasting judgement of The Bible until I have finished it, or at least until I have climbed from the depths of the old testament.

The Old Testament thus far was not with out good stories however. Adam and Eve always a crowd pleaser, Noah and the Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah, Joseph and his Brothers. And the interesting thing is it precisely why these are the stories that are taught in bible school, and in mainstream Christianity, because they are interesting. The rest I feel like, are we serious? These laws through them out their old absurd contradictory, meddling, racist bigot news. Some are however pertinent but we don't need to Bible to tell us that. Don't have sex with your sister. Got it, thanks Bible good looking out. Don't commit murder, um... we are working on that one. Point being the judicial system has put God out of the smiting business. All this for me at least boils down to, "Why?"

They call it the Good Book in my opinion it should be called "The Shitty book: with some good parts." Yet the damn thing remains so freaking important because it has infiltrated every aspect of western society. What Northrop Frye wrote in Words with Power hit it right on the head, "Nobody would attempt to study Islamic culture without starting with the Koran...why should not a study of Western culture working outwards from the Bible be equally rewarding?" It is for that reason alone that I Roberto Amado-Cattaneo III continue to read The Bible despite an overwhelming internal struggle.

Quick story then I will terminate this communique. Back in June of 2006 I traveled with a group of volunteers to Africa through group called "Urgent Africa" in conjunction with another called "Slum Doctor". Both where not in any way shape or form in allegiance with any religious denomination. Our primary purpose was to deliver medicines and basic first aid to AIDS orphans and widows in a small village called Majiwa, Kenya which is located north of Lake Victoria close to the Ugandan border.Non the less drive from Nairobi we stopped in a small town called Homa Bay outside the larger city of Kisumu. There is were my disdain for The Bible was born.  I witnessed on multiple occasions sermons given by Evangelicals, Catholics, Mormon, etc... in which prophylactics were condemned, and God not science will save them. Heart breaking things to hear, all backed by quotations from The Bible. Not to say that this is all The Bible has to give, but my experience has by no means done The Bible any favors. As I read I try to keep an open mind both a literary sense and in a more "spiritual sense". 

I've got biblical blogger's block.

I know that we have left the Old Testament in the dust, because the semester must go on. However I am not and will not abandon my quest to read The Bible in its entirety. It may be slow going and you all may have left me in the old testament for the greener pastures of the new, but my will is strong and I resolve to finsih the task at hand no matter how long it may take. That said my blogs on The Bible are going to seem archaic, because I am writing of old news. My blog is now an oxymoron in and of itself. Besides being behind in my Biblical reading I wil try to contribute posts that are some what relevant to the class.

I read Leviticus 15: 19-33 to my girlfriend and her replie was:

"God! Not only insulting, but where and the fuck would I get two turtles and two pigeons let alone every month."

I thought it funny, maybe you had to be there.

Now a story. Last friday evening I decided to attend a meeting of which I had never been. So I ventured out alone into the night headed for the Gallatin Gateway. On the way traveling on 191 I almost hit a deer thank God the bugger turned tail at my bumper. Shaken but not detoured I continued on into the night. It was "black as a panther's asshole" that evening. I searched in vain to find the meeting. In hopes of finding it I turned onto the main drag that empty's the highway into town. Then like a specter through the gloom of the night shown bright red lights reading "BAR" over which were enscrolled the words "old faithful". Oh! I ought. The devils hand is at play in attempt to lure me away from new way of life back to the old. I felt like Job himself. With all earnestness I turned my steed of steel around to find that which I sought. As I made my way though town I got on the highway in hopes that my destination lay further down the line. Again in the dark shown another devious place. The "Buffalo Jump" shiny bright, welcoming among the cold and dark road. Oh! This is where the Buffalo jump was hidden and of all times to stumble upon it. I laughed. Oh! How the denial of temptation can be suffering itself. Again I righted myself and continued on. There a neutral ground lay ahead a gas station casino. I left my ride and walked inside I asked a nice old woman, "Do you know where I can find the Gallatin Gateway Community Church?" She replied, "Yes, it is just a couple blocks down on the right". Ah, and there it was down the road to the right. The church was completely dark but cars parked all around I new this was the place. My pseudo salvation hidden in plain sight. As I descended the basement steps the aroma of black coffee and linger of cigarettes clinging to coats. I was safe, I was home. The moral of the story being that it is easier to find sin than salvation. Like Job I stayed the course when it would have been so easy to give in to yield to suffering to succumb to pain. Doing the right thing is not easy.

The Slave: A beautiful tragedy

I am pleased to announce that yesterday I finished Isaac Beshevis Singer's The Slave. What an amazing story. Interestingly enough I didn't find the plot to be that "original", but something about the writing itself lends to the powerful and moving effect of the story on the reader. Lovers are destined for pain and suffering endured by the prospect of true love (e.g. Romeo and Juliet, Harold and Maude, Adam and Eve, The Odyssey). I find myself almost being able to tie love directly to life. Being alive entails suffering almost from the day a life leaves the womb. Similarly with love. The stronger the love for one another the more suffering endured by the lovers. The "love story" really has become archetypal in its portrayal of love- that it is almost always a tragedy. For instance even in a love story where lovers endure no pain and suffering, death is always looming in the background. For in death the lovers will be separated. Bringing to light that in even the most heavenly relationship there will always be a "breakup"- pain and suffering. Just look at The Slave it is absolutely beautiful portrayal of life and love, and further more it is absolutely tragic. I could even go as far as to say that what is incredibly tragic also makes the story incredibly beautiful. The loss of life and the loss of love and the prospect of reuniting seems to me to be a powerful driving force underlying the creation of heaven in The Bible. Just think the existence of heaven doesn't just serve the prospect of eternal life catering to human fears of mortality, but it is a place in which the image of our loved ones can forever reside. It would be too painful to know that the one you loved so dear is nothing more than food for worms (which is true in the most scientific sense). Not only that but the afterlife holds with it the prospect of reunion with those that we have loved and lost. Death brings about purpose, for example in the end Jacob's faith is never so clear and concise. His servitude his enslavement to religion, god, and love all come to a head with his approaching death. In those last pages is where Jacob acknowledges that his spirit will be united with that of god, and his love Wanda/Sarah. At this point there is no questioning his faith or his actions all had been preordained for that final moment. That destiny is never so clear when, "the spade struck bones." This also is a beautiful use of cosmic irony, again making the story that much more tragic. Ah...my heart pangs for Jacob. Job eat your heart out.

Those who have truly loved will not fear the prospect of death.